


The Laughter of Baker Street

by Inner_Devil



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: BBC Sherlock pick up lines, Complete, Ficlet, M/M, Oneshot, one chapter, punny pick up lines, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 15:39:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5631925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inner_Devil/pseuds/Inner_Devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Sherlock use the pickup lines from the tumblr blog bbcsherlockpickuplines all night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Laughter of Baker Street

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frozenblacklotus.tumblr.com](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=frozenblacklotus.tumblr.com).



> I nearly died laughing while reading this, so I hope you appreciate it! XD

"Bad news, Sherlock," John sighed as he came into the sitting room. "Speedy's isn't delivering takeaway tonight. We'll have to pick somewhere else to order from."

Sherlock sighed, then murmured something under his breath. 

"What was that?" John asked, raising a brow.

Sherlock blushed and glanced over at John. "I said.....If I were Speedy's, I let you eat me out every night on the house," he repeated quietly.

John burst out laughing. "When did you think of that?" he commented with a grin.

Sherlock shrugged. "I do occasionally when I'm bored and you won't let me smoke. I have more," he replied.

"Oh, I have to hear these," John insisted, taking a seat in his arm chair. "Go on."

"Okay......Well, are you my mind palace? Because I want to kick everyone out of the room and get inside you," Sherlock told him, looking hopeful. He smiled as John started laughing again.

"Wait, I've got one!" John gasped. "Without you, I'm deader than a Flight 007 passenger."

Sherlock nodded. "It's not bad. But try something more like this: I would say sweet things to you even if I knew bombs have off switches."

"You did!" John laughed. "Well I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you."

"Are you four serial suicides and a note? Because I jump for joy whenever I hear about you," Sherlock chuckled. "You're sweeter than the sugar I thought the Baskerville drug was in."

John burst out laughing. "That is absolutely hilarious. I can't believe you kept these to yourself!" he chuckled. "I've got one more for you. Ready?" he asked.

"Of course I am. We've been sharing these for the last 15 minutes," Sherlock told him.

"I love you more than Jennifer Wilson loved the colour pink," John told him softly. "And I want to spend the rest of our lives together."

Sherlock smiled. "I love you too, John. More than Mycroft loves cake," he chuckled. "Could we cuddle tonight? I promise not to squeeze you as hard as the Golem."

John chuckled softly and nodded. "Of course we can. I'll order something for us to eat. And you, mister, will start sharing these lines with me. They're hilarious!"

"Oh, well, you know, I have one about the sex we have," he admitted with a shrug. "Our sex is like a crime. The weirder it is, the more I get off."

John chuckled and rolled his eyes again, getting his phone. "Will you be the microwave to my eyeballs? Because I want you inside me."

The two men continued sharing pick up lines and laughs for the rest of the night, forgetting about food until later. By then, John just grabbed them some biscuits from the kitchen to snack on while they enjoyed each other's company. It was definitely one of the best nights of their lives.


End file.
